John Green, Please Stop

by Brigham Bartol

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about

A parody song about Young Adult novelist John Green.

lyrics

I
I just wanted to read
Thought it might be good for me
Thought it might bring some peace
I just wanted to read

Oh, but this book
Holy crap, this book is so 'effin great
It has the tears rolling down my face
On every page
But in a good sort of way

Oh, and there's more
More books by this same author in the store
I'll read them all, I'll never be bored
'Cause when I'm done I'll read them again
I'll read them over and over

It's like a disease
I don't know what these novels are doing to me
They make me laugh and they make me weep
And when these characters speak
It hits me deep it hits me deep

John Green, stop making me cry
There's still an angsty teen inside me, I just wanted him to die
But he comes back
Everytime I read
Another young adult novel written by John Green

I went Looking For Alaska
But all I found was tears
In a crowd full of Will Graysons
I faced all of my fears
And I searched for Paper Towns
But got lost along the way
Trapped in my adolescence
It was written on the page
But I'm twenty years old now, John
And I don't need this crap
I'm finished with my teenhood
And I'm never going back

John Green, stop making me cry
There's still an angsty teen inside me, I just wanted him to die
But he comes back
Everytime I read
Another young adult novel written by John Green

Don't even get me started
On "TFiOS", my friend
'Cause I cried seven times before I even reached the end
And sure it's got laughs
And yes, it's very real
And yeah, it's got that powder-blue cover
But I'm on to your game
I know your ploy
You want all joy to be kicked down in the gutter

But no more
I'm kicking my addiction
The revolution starts today
'Cause now I realize
The real fault is
That I never turned away

And so, I will ignore you
And I'll watch TV instead of reading
Keep all of my emotions bottled up inside where they belong
And I'll find something else to do with my evenings

John Green, you can't make me cry
There's still an angsty teen inside me, I'm just waiting on him to die
He won't come back
As long as I don't read
Another young adult novel written by John Green

credits

released July 11, 2014
All composition, performance, and production by Brigham Bartol

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Brigham Bartol Windsor, Ontario

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